Movie Mission Aborted

For almost a week I have been planning to go up to the newly-reopened Chauvel Cinema to see The Devil and Daniel Johnston. Tonight was the night. Tuesday night is their discount night when tickets are seven bucks. Pretty good price, eh? Better than the big George Street cinema that has gone back up to nine bucks.
Anyway, I walked up the hill and there were a bunch of people outside on the footpath smoking. It struck me as a lot of people to be outside smoking. What the hell was going on up there? A party? Yes! That's exactly what was going on up there! I walked up the stairs and the sound got louder and louder. There were all these people up there with wine glasses. It was like a freaking nightclub! It wasn't a good sign, not good at all. What the hell was going on there anyway? They had remodelled the place and now the box office was on the other side - on the other side of all those cinema clubbers! No way was I gonna try to get through that crowd. No way. I really wanted to see this doco but that was too much, man. Maybe it was some post-preview party or something and they would be out of there soon, but I couldn't take that chance. All I could imagine was buying a ticket and them not leaving, but staying right there getting louder and happier, then following me into the theatre and sitting all around me, having a great time. No way could I enjoy the documentary in that situation, man.
I got out of there fast, shaking my head the whole way back down the hill. I'll have to go see it next week. It better still be playing!

The Libertine

After work today I went and saw The Libertine. You know that big cliche that you watch a particularly sordid or squalid movie and immediately afterwards feel like you must take a shower? Well, I could use that one here. It would be appropriate. The movie is about the Earl of Rochester, John Wilmot, an actual historical figure from the 17th Century. He's played by Johnny Depp. Depp has a lot of fun with this character, a cross between his Pirates of the Caribbean character Jack Sparrow, Oscar Wilde and Bob Crane. At the beginning he looks at the camera and tries to rev us up by saying, "You will not like me!" Why would we not like him? Because he's an alcoholic and can't keep his pecker in his pants when a woman is around? Who cares. Many people have those problems. And he's a witty guy, very funny at times, coming up with some cracking one-liners. There he reminded me of Oscar Wilde.
Anyway, the reason I wanted to use that shower cliche was that the movie is set in London, and that was back when there were open sewers, so the streets were awash with mud and shit. The people all looked pale and sick, red-rimmed eyes, greasy skin, so when one of the frequent porky scenes pop up you want to scream, "Don't touch that!". Then because the Earl goes out whoring so much, he gets syphilis. There was no treatment for that back then so he starts rotting, and at one point when he is forced to make a public appearance, he is wearing a metallic nose cover because his nose is either about to fall off, or it's simply so damn hideous and would make everybody throw up.
The plot of the movie is simple: the Earl disgraces himself in front of King Charles (by telling a porno story in front of some important visitors), he is subsequently banished to some big boring country house but then three months later gets called back to the exciting, sleazy, filthy city. He loves going to the theatre and one time sees a new actress who gets fruit thrown at her by the jeering crowd, however the Earl sees some talent in her and tells her he wants to train her to be the best actress in London. See? He's not a bad guy at all. Anyway, she says, "OK! That would be, like, totally cool!" He coaches her and she becomes the hottest thing in London.
Did I mention that King Charles is played by John Malkovich? Well he is, and he is very good. Some very nice, dry delivery of lines right there. King Charles commissions the Earl to write a play to entertain some visiting French aristocrats, but the cheeky Earl instead writes a porno show which embarasses the King so he sends him off to go and rot with his syphilis. But the Earl stumbles in and redeems himself in the end by standing up for a vote in parliament that was going to go against the King, so he gives an awesome and persuasive speech, and everybody cheers. So he did the right thing by the King in the end, after all. See! He's not such a bad guy. He just forgot to read the part about the Seven Deadly Sins.

Robot Blog

I found another robot blog. It's a robot adblog. The robots are learning, but a smart human will always beat them.
I think it's time for another Survey.

Sunday Night Playlist

Dinosaur Jr - Little Fury Things
Dinosaur Jr - Kracked
Dinosaur Jr - Sludgefeast
Dinosaur Jr - The Lung
Dinosaur Jr - Raisans
Dinosaur Jr - Tarpit
Dinosaur Jr - In A Jar
Dinosaur Jr - Lose
Dinosaur Jr - Show Me The Way (Peter Frampton song)
Dinosaur Jr - Turnip Farm
Smoking Popes - Angel Flying Too Close To The Ground (Willy Nelson song)
Smoking Popes - Days Just Wave Goodbye
Smoking Popes - Double Fisted Love
Smoking Popes - Let's Hear It For Love
Smoking Popes - Stars
Smoking Popes - Pure Imagination (Willy Wonka song)
Smoking Popes - Let Them Die
Enslaved - Larger Than Time, Heavier Than Night

Video Game Dreams

Outside with a big group of people, I sat on the ground. We were there to watch a preview of something but the TV was facing the wrong way - it was facing towards Jonathan Archer (the Captain from Star Trek: Enterprise). I said to him, "Hey! Is this a special Captain's preview?" He didn't reply. We all had to move so we could see the screen. On the screen was a preview of the new Final Fantasy game (FFXII). Three characters came zooming up (actually flying) to a country ranch-type house then fired projectiles that stuck to various parts of the house. These projectiles then turned into lanterns. I recognised the characters and shouted, "Hey! It's the original characters from X-10!" (Of course, I meant FFX.) They were supposed to be Tidus, Yuna and Auron, but in fact they looked like Kalas, Xelha and Lyude from Baten Kaitos. No surprises there since I have been playing that game like crazy lately. No surprise Captain Archer turned up either since I've been watching a lot of Star Trek: Enterprise lately.

Top 20 Gayest Video Game Characters

I love video game lists, and this one is very funny.

16 Blocks

After work I went and saw 16 Blocks. Bruce Willis plays broken down alcoholic detective Jack Mosley who after pulling an all-night shift and just wants to go home and get drunk (or drunker) and pass out, his chief hands him some papers and tells him he's gotta go pick up a witness from another police station and drive him to testify at court sixteen blocks away. Sounds easy, but if it was easy we wouldn't be there watching it. Well, the dude he has to take to court is Eddie Bunker, played by Mos Def. Eddie is a motormouth - he won't stop talking, but he's likeable so that's OK. At least I found him likeable. Jack just wanted him to shut up because his head hurts.
They soon find out that the trip to the courthouse isn't going to be easy when people start trying to kill Eddie. He's off to testify in a case which will remove a bunch of dirty cops from the streets. These dirty cops intend to make sure he doesn't get there. The bad cops are headed by Frank Nugent (David Morse). On the way, Frank corners the pair in a bar and tries to get Jack to hand over Eddie and go home with his bottle, being all buddy-buddy (they are ex-partners). Jack does the right thing and says fuck you and they get out of there in the middle of a big Mexican standoff.
The movie is a redemption tale, where Jack has a chance to make amends for a failed personal and professional life, and Eddie has a chance to quit a life of petty crime and move to Seattle to start a bakery with his long-lost sister (he was a foster kid). This kind of stuff is often done in a heavy-handed, clumsy and sacharine way, but not here. We genuinely care what happens to these characters, and want them to get out of this mess alive so they can get on with a better life.
16 Blocks also has an 'old school' cop show feel about it, which I really appreciated. It's unsurprising considering that director Richard Donner worked on shows like The Streets of San Francisco and Kojak, not to mention the Lethal Weapon movies, so it's fun to follow the developing relationship between the white guy and black guy here.
Bruce Willis never looked so beat down and ragged as he does here. He's a wreck. A man staggering, red-eyed and hopeless at the edge of the pit. Great stuff.
Mos Def was excellent as the Flavor Flav-like motormouth. What a funny voice! I couldn't help wondering if that was how his natural voice sounded - could it be?
Well, I really enjoyed this movie, and so did the Asian kids sitting in the row behind me. I want to include what they yelled at the end: a cheering sentiment that gave me a big grin, but it would constitute a spoiler, so I had better not.

Note: If I'm not mistaken, this movie seems to follow 'real time', since at the beginning of the movie the time is around 8:30am and Jack has to get Eddie to the courthouse by 10:00am, and the movie is around an hour and a half long.

Postscript: I just checked IMDB for Mos Def and it says he is in another 2006 movie Journey To The End of the Night. What! Has a movie really been made of this excellent novel?!