Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Bloody Cartoons

There's an excellent documentary (Bloody Cartoons [Denmark, 2007]) on SBS right now about the insane overreaction to those BLASPHEMOUS and VERY FUNNY cartoons poking fun at Islam and Muslim terrorist bombers that were published in a Danish newspaper.

What these idiots got so upset about was the depiction of Mohammad. According to them, Mohammad must not be depicted in an illustration or drawing, but that's bullshit because this restriction doesn't even appear anywhere in the Koran. A mufti on this programme admitted as much. And this mufti also had a lame argument against freedom of speech. He said that the idea of absolute freedom is wrong because you have to have rules, like road rules so cars don't smash into one another, or shipping rules so ships don't plow into one another. By this weak logic, we would have rules like you can't poke fun at any religion, if if some of its members blow themselves up in big crowds; you can't poke fun because these men follow a very special leader who doesn't have a sense of humour, and throws a tantrum if you poke fun at him, so you mustn't say anything to upset them, hell no! Just let these dudes go about their business of blowing themselves and others up, and try to be understanding, OK?

What I believe is that cartoonists have a duty to make fun of these people. If you are so humourless and sensitive about your stupid so-fragile belief system, you deserve to be ridiculed and humiliated until you come to your damned senses and get some perspective (you idiots).

Let me tell you something which I've never told anybody: Back when I was publishing my comix anthology Sick Puppy Comix, I printed an excellent and very funny comic strip by Neale Blanden which had Jesus Christ on a cross in an Australian suburban backyard - he was making a racket and the next door neighbour was mowing his lawn and yelled out for Jesus to shut up and keep it down, and Jesus replies, "But it REALLY HURTS!!" Even when I had my born-again 'freakout' and got way overzealous and humourless myself (which ended, eventually, thank God), I never once regretted publishing that comic strip. I knew Jesus Christ was big enough to stand some comix dude poking fun at it all, and I knew even Jesus himself would find amusing. So I believe if Mohammad was half the dude these Muslims make him out to be, he would find those Dutch cartoons hilarious, too. And if you disagree with that, I must point out that you don't know shit. Go out into the desert and think deeper about it.

Night Vision

The leaves are still now
A bright full moon shines through haze
A cat slinks below.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Friday and Monday, What's the Difference?

This morning while delivering the mail I heard one of the Marketing girls say something to another Marketing girl. It struck me as one of the most idiotic observations I have ever heard. But why don't you be the judge? Here's what she said:

"Oh, I keep getting confused about what day it is! I don't know if it's Friday or Monday. Maybe because they are so close together?"

I could be wrong, but it seems to me there's a GALAXY of difference between Friday and Monday. Close together? Yes, sort of. Only separated by the freaking weekend.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

I Love Cigarettes :]

After six cans of beer, guess what! - it's time for a double bourbon and coke. And a smoke. I like to smoke cigarettes. Speaking of which, I hear that smoking is not only addictive (which is bullshit, by the way - they are simply so enjoyable they are impossible to resist!) but can kill you. My cigarette packs tell me that I am in real danger of getting lung cancer, having a stroke, a heart attack, and that nicotine can damage my baby. I'm not even pregnant so what the fuck do they know? I also hear that my smoking can harm others. OK, so if I'm smoking and I believe all that bullshit about it being so bad for my self, do they seriously think I'm going to be worried about what it does to others?
Haw! I'm killing myself laughing!

*stumbles off bent double in hysterics for a fag*

Sunday, October 07, 2007

No Comment

Just so you know, it really doesn't bother me that I hardly ever get any comments here. It's because everybody else is busy with their MySpace page, where they have half a million 'friends' because they only had to press a button; or they have one of those useless and boring FaceBook pages (I know they are useless and boring because I investigated it - FaceBook is only good if you went to university and were in Theatre Sports, or the 'Glee Club', whatever that is), meanwhile the rest have LiveJournals, but those people are either dudes obsessed with discussing their latest butt plug acquisition, or chicks creating homoerotic fan art based on Japanese anime and video games.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Patel Fizzed

Some readers may recall the time I mentioned reading Stephen Donaldson's 'Thomas Covenant' books, and how he loved to write stuff like:

"Don't touch me!" he ejaculated.

"Leave me alone!" he ejaculated.

"Get your hands off of me!" he ejaculated.

Well, right now I am reading an excellent and very funny book called Slow Death by Stewart Home. What I like about it is the way Home does sort of the same thing, only completely different:

'What?' Patel fizzed.

'Nonsense!' Campbell yodelled.

'Hi,' Don squeaked.

'We can't possibly do that!' Rolf popped.

'Sure thing boss,' Hodges yapped before hanging up.

'I suppose things just got out of hand,' Career orated.

'Before you go,' Brewster stage-whispered...

"Forget it,' Career rejoined congenially as she sat down.

'Nah,' Martin caterwauled.

'The easiest way to make money from art,' Eliot honked, 'is to work on the administrative side...'

'Are you telling me I can't make a fortune as an artist?' the skinhead clacked.

'Let's just fuck,' Rebel determined.

'Just do it,' Maria gabbled.

'I want him!' Good undulated, pointing at Donald.

'Anyway,' Karen oscillated...

'Thank you officer,' Ross smarmed.

'Nevertheless,' McDonald mooed...

'Oh, that's easy,' Peter frothed.

Thursday, October 04, 2007


Hey, Oktoberfest!
This, the month to hit the suds.
Drinking from big jugs.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Freaking Hot Sydney Day

Life on Mercury
What a day like this feels like.
No hope for Snowman.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Buddha Belly

I just read that Yukio Mishima once remarked that a fat belly was a sign of spiritual sloth. Why then do Buddha statues and figurines have such big, fat bellies? Hello.

Small Folk

The Small Folk were in a lush green countryside. A man went to introduce himself to them. A girl accompanied him. They heard folk-ish, atmospheric music playing nearby. These Small Folk, their faces were never seen distinctly, only black, as in silhouette. They slowly arrived. They were strange, silent, seemed gentle although it struck the girl that they could be a danger in numbers. They had some kind of mysterious power.

A red dog came with them and the girl smelled the dog, a very doggy smell, but not unpleasant.

The Small Folk had been scaring people, or getting up to some kind of mischief, that's why the man went to meet with them. They were silent the whole time, and they kept moving around.

Soon they gradually melted back into the trees. The girl was overwhelmed by powerful feelings of wonder and sadness.