Everybody has a blog these days. Anybody can have a blog. It's not hard. In fact it's too easy. You just get one, and write a bunch of boring crap, and hey presto! You're a blogger! You can write any old boring crap, whatever you want, and people on the other side of the world can read that boring crap a second later. People are doing it all over the world. Very rarely you will find one that is good, but that happens once every million years, yet that's why I like to do these surveys. Once every million years I find a good one!
It's been a long time since the last survey, so it's time to venture out once again, in the usual completely random way (courtesy of the wonderul and terrible Next Blog button), and examine ten more examples of modern blogcraft!
1. Fast tanning bed guide - Well, we're off to a bad start here with one of those stinking adblogs. Oh well. At least some of the idiot robot text made me laugh:
"Ready for supreme court case santa? It's here supreme court case santa. No more waiting for supreme court case santa. Ready for supreme court case santa?"
WTF? And what does this Supreme Court Case Santa have to do with tanning beds anyway?
2. mobile phone tools motorola - Well, this is depressing. Another adblog. That's two out of two, isn't it? Does anybody actually know one of these adbloggers? Have you ever met one? Gee, I'd like to.
3. Chung Jeck - By the looks of it, Chung Jeck (an Asian chappy) had a family get-together and took a bunch of photos, and here they are! These are regular folks, eating food, playing with kids, having a nice time. Not the most exciting blog I've seen, but still welcome after those dumb robot adblogs. Adblog Robots: 2. Humans: 1. Can the Humans even the score? Let's find out!
4. Sheidaye Shaparak - It looks like the Humans are fighting back! Here's a blog written in Arabic, but at least there are some pictures, although it's not looking promising. Sheidaye seems to have an obsession with babies with butterfly wings sleeping in branches and on dead logs. She also likes Celine Dion, Spongebob and Madonna. Having noted that, all of a sudden it doesn't seem to be such a handicap that I can't read Arabic. Next!
5. Friday's Rage - A blog by Angry Bob. Angry Bob is from "Canader" and is angry about many things. Angry Bob is angry about people using acronyms; people who complain about snow; somebody called Brian Mulroney; robbers; kids who have no respect for The Queue; Canadians who don't vote; Rolling Stones fans; parents who let their kids get fat, and other things. He writes these tirades every Friday, and every one ends with his *signature* signoff, like this: "Have a hoot, spell it out", "Have a hoot, wear big boots", "Have a hoot, piss on the big galoot", etc..
Is that the dumbest signoff you ever heard? It's the dumbest one I ever heard. Hey, I got one! "Have a hoot, don't have a dumb retarded signoff."
And as for this *angry rant* stuff, it can be very entertaining and funny if it's done well, but if it's not done well, like Angry Bob's blog here, the author just comes across as a cranky old jerk, sad to say. Oh well. At least it's not an adblog.
6. Pixelgrube - I don't know what it means, but what a great blog title! Here's a blog by a German dude who just bought a digital camera. There are only five photos so far but they're pretty cool. I really like Feb 24's picture of a grinning man with a big wild beard. What a shame I can't read German! Good stuff, Pixelgrube!
7. onespotlessmind - This is a blog from a Portuguese woman. Most of it is written in Portuguese, but one part is written in English, and that part is a Dear Diary type entry about her conflicted relationship status with her "significant other". She wants to have a baby, but is he Mr Right? It's complicated, y'know? Here, she reminds us that relationships are complex, not simple. There are also photos of her talking on the phone, looking at the camera in a dreamy fashion, and drunk among half-empty wine glasses.
8. Shareware - Another robot adblog, yet this one is noteworthy for the random way words are put together in great blocks of bizarrely constructed text:
"They sat there as the tide went out, and the sandal-paste deemest the arm-chests of the tragic estimacion in his ingeniose, switch-board to stay'n out on the pestem of the mystery overshadowing the majestick he loved. The distichs then pointed out that their cat-show game-dishes simply retained these privileges and saw-pit customs because they would disembowel the respect of their Air Conditioning if they straught those streamies of rifle-distance which they scalped inherited, and which they shak'd upon entirely as a time-perspective head-sheet."
Hey, this stuff isn't bad!
9. The Shoah - If you want to obsess on the Nazis vs The Jews period in history, this would be a great blog for you. This blog (by Nikki) seems to be a collection of quotes and passages taken from Holocaust books. She's definitely got a theme going on here, that's for sure.
10. Grasshoppers shoes - It sounds interesting, doesn't it? I thought so, too. But it's only another adblog, albeit another one with mad constructions of random text:
"You descendeth been abstrusest in obfuscating a good pink-shaded would'st into oil-vessel stacy adams shoes ; I azenst the key impurest in the guidless, and a sweetling shot at specimen-wise and bottom. He ostracized to a huge white thunder-gust beyond on the top of which someone had castrated a sybarite's essencelessness of insufflator. Stacy adams shoes, the peasant-like fantasticness close to Dante's master-wort, behind the Badia : S. Stacy adams shoes also the chapter, Wagstaff stacy adams shoes francaise en Italie in Femme-sans-tete Tseh."
Hey, I like it! Did somebody mention shoes? That's a coincidence! I really think it's about time I got me some new shoes!
*staggers outside, middle of the night, arms out in front and glazed-eyed like a zombie, in search of somewhere, anywhere, to buy new shoes*