Nick Xenophon : Scientologist Hunter

Here's my new favourite senator/politician: Nick Xenophon! He recently gave a parliamentary speech exposing the fucked-up evil dark side of the Scientology cult.

Read it here.

End Times

It sure has been nice knowin' ya.
[More pics here ]

Sultry Sally Sweet Chilli & Lime Potato Chips

Sultry Sally found my blog post about her chips and offered to send me some of her new improved potato chips, so last week I got a box of them! Thanks Sally! I sent the packet of Salt & Vinegar chips to my friend Mr Beautiful to review (because he commented on that blog post). He lives in the US. Like me, he loves salt & vinegar chips too but I sent that packet to him because it was a small one, and the only other small one was a plain Sea Salt flavour, and only my brother and mother likes plain ol' salt chips.
Anyway, his review will be forthcoming. Meanwhile, tonight I tried the Sweet Chilli and Lime chips. Also tonight my girlfriend phoned me and made a comment on the Sultry Sally poster I have on my wall to remind me to review them. (Well, that's one of the reasons.) She said that on her way out this afternoon she was looking at that poster and noticed where it said "95% Fat-Free Chips" but the 'C' was scribbled over. She pointed ut that this was designed to appeal to women. I hadn't noticed it and admitted taht it was a pretty clever move on Sally's part. Girlfriend also pointed out that Sally also appealed to men because of the *hot* women who adorned each packet. I had to agree with that because that was what made me buy them in the first place. It is easily the coolest chip packet design I have ever seen. Plus you gotta love those classic cheesecake girls - like they painted on the side of fighter planes, and the kind painted on Hannah's pie shop next to my workplace (Hannah's make the pies for Sydney's iconic Harry's Cafe de Wheels pie joints). I will buy more Sultry Sally chips, and especially the Salt & Vinegar chips (Mr Beautiful, I am really looking forward to your review!). I understand there must be some scarifice going down to 95% fat-free chips. Anyway, the thing about eating salty snacks like that is, at least for me, you usually hit 'em after a few beers. So long as you're eating some kind of salty treat you're a happy chappy. Beer nuts. Chips. Pretzels. Give it to me, baby. I'm yours and you are mine. And me, I would rather eat chips out of a packet featuring the delightful Sally caressing chilli peppers, limes, vinegar botles, salt shakers, etc. than a boring old Smith's packet featuring a gigantic chip on a pink background, or whatever it is. It's so boring I can't even remember.
I love you, Sally. Drown me in your salty low-fat potato chip love.

Flash! Go die!

Laugh and cry at same time? Yes it happens. The world is like that, and maybe it is true that you laugh when you might cry. Black humour is not for everybdy, but it's for me, and maybe you too. Thanks for your time!

Man Shoots Fellow Monkey Hunter

CHIBA — Police have arrested a member of a hunters’ group on suspicion of professional negligence after he mistakenly shot to death a fellow hunter Sunday during a cull of monkeys.

Suminori Maeda, a 51-year-old resident of Kimitsu, Chiba Prefecture, shot and fatally injured Masayoshi Murakoshi, 72, also from Kimitsu, around 9:30 a.m. Sunday in a mountain forest. Murakoshi was immediately taken to hospital but was later pronounced dead, police said. Maeda told investigators that he shot Murakoshi after mistaking him for a monkey. At the time, Murakoshi was rushing to join other members of the group on hearing that monkeys had been sighted, police said.

Source: Japan Today

Ghost Pops

Another big snackfood discovery for me happened last weekend when I was in the supermarket looking for Nong Shim Spicy Shrimp Sticks. There were none of those, just the regular flavour, but I spotted a packet of these salty South African snacks called Ghost Pops (Flavoured Maize Snack). With a name like that, well naturally I'm gonna buy them! The pleasant surprise was that when I sampled them later that night along with a few beers, I found them to be most excellent indeed. A very appealing smooth/crunchy texture had they (reminiscent somewhat of Twisties Wicked Cheddar Zig-Zags) and a real nice saucy flavour. The shape of them is interesting too, can't figure out if they are supposed to be ghosts or what. They look more like the shape of Mickey Mouse's head. Well, sir. They're very good, the only downside being that they're $4.00 a pack, no doubt because they are imported from *District 9*.
Overall, a real treat for us salty snack aficionados!

Man Arrested For Burning Down House Over Gundam Models

Police in Kasai City near Kobe have arrested a 29-year-old factory worker named Yoshifumi Takabe on suspicion of burning down his own home on Sunday. The suspect reportedly doused his room with kerosene and lit it with a lighter around 2:10 p.m. on Sunday. The resulting fire eventually burned down the two-story house, which was about 250 square meters (about 2,700 square feet) and made partially from wood.

The police investigators say that the suspect had doused himself with kerosene, but had escaped the fire without injuries. His 55-year-old mother was also in the house but escaped without injuries. According to the police, the suspect said that his mother had gotten rid of his "valuable" Gundam plastic models, so he wanted to kill himself.

Source: Anime News Network

[Stratu says: This man's response was reasonable and clearly justifiable, given the circumstances. What the devil was his mother thinking? Takabe-san should be awarded cash money to the estimated vakue of his destroyed collection so it can be replaced.]

Teacher Gets Pay Cut For Putting Chalk In Yawning Student’s Mouth

Wednesday 29th July, 08:14 AM JST

KOCHI — The head teacher at a public elementary school in Kochi Prefecture had his salary cut by 10% for three months after putting chalk in a student’s mouth, it was learned Tuesday following an announcement from the Kochi Prefectural Board of Education.

The male teacher in his 50s put chalk in a boy’s mouth on June 24, after warning the class that he would do so to the next student who yawned. The boy is said to have told the teacher that he didn’t mind and opened his mouth, and the teacher put the chalk around 3 centimeters long in the boy’s mouth for a couple of seconds. The boy was absent from school the next day and only turned up to school four more days before classes finished for the summer break.

The teacher has apologized and pledged to do better in the future.
- Japan Today

[I think the boy is a big crybaby. He said he didn't mind, probably to impress his fellow students, but obviously once he realised the chalk wasn't very tasty and he may look rather foolish instead of cool, he runs crying to mummy and daddy. I'm on the teacher's side on this one! - Stratu]

Sultry Sally Potato Chips - Great Packaging, Shame About The Chips

................ I love potato chips. Who doesn't? The other day in my local deli I saw a big display of these new potato chips with the coolest potato chip packaging ever. I don't even care that the chips taste like crispy cardboard. I think there are two other flavours (besides Salt & Vinegar and Thai Sweet Chilli and Lime, the ones I got) so I gotta get those and put them up here soon. Well, have you ever seen a more wonderful and awesome potato chip packet design?

Two Women Attacked By Man With Umbrella In Shinjuku

During my recent injury (severed toestring from Wile E. Coyote glass) I had forgotten to check the Japan Today Crime section, so did that today and found this great story:

Two Women Attacked By Man With Umbrella In Shinjuku
Tuesday 07th July, 09:53 AM JST
TOKYO — Two women in their 20s were assaulted by a man wielding an umbrella on Monday in Shinjuku, and police believe the attacks were committed by the same man, who remains at large.

The first woman was in a FamilyMart convenience store at around 11 a.m. when she noticed some water dripping on her from behind. When she turned around in surprise, a man holding an umbrella shrieked in a loud voice and hit her on her shoulder with the umbrella before running off, police said.

A few minutes later at a pedestrian crossing about 300 meters from the convenience store, another woman crossing the street was suddenly called out to by a man passing her, and when she turned around, she was hit on the nose by an umbrella. She dropped to the ground and the man ran off in the direction from which he came.

The man has been described as being about 170 centimeters tall, of medium build and in his 20s or 30s. He was wearing a white or light-green shirt and blue jeans, and his hair was messy.

Eyes On The Road!

Keep your eyes on the road! For the love of God don't stare at the lady's calves! I made the same mistake myself one day and ended up through the windshield covered in blood and gore. And God you help you women and your new hat obsessions!

Japanese Pineapple Robbed In Sweden

STOCKHOLM — Police said Sunday that a Japanese pop singer dressed up as a pineapple was robbed while shooting a music video in southern Sweden on Saturday.
Police spokesman Bo Paulsson said three young men beat up 41-year-old Hideki Kaji and robbed him of camera equipment worth around 20,000 kronor ($2,500) late Saturday.
Paulsson said the pineapple-clad artist had been left alone with the equipment while the camera crew went for a break. He was left with a cut lip and lost a dental implant.
Police said they had no suspects.
Kaji has released more than 10 solo albums since splitting from the band Bridge in the 1990s. He is also famous for recording a duet with Saint Etienne singer Sarah Cracknell.
Source: Japan Today

Angry Video Game Nerd

I'm a video game nerd, and sometimes an angry one (yes I have pulverised a PS2 controller out of sheer rabid frustration), but I don't care for crappy old videogames, and anyway I missed this NES/SNES/N64 generation. But I love watching the Angry Video Game Nerd. He's a very funny guy. You don't have to be a video game nerd to enjoy this, by the way.

Angry Video Game Nerd : Star Trek

Smoking Warning!

I've had this Reg Mombassa postcard hanging up next to my computer at work for years. It never fails to cheer me up, even on a Monday!

Things That A Writer Must Avoid

I found an excellent and helpful list of things a writer must avoid, assembled by Bioy, Borges and Silvina. Writing is not as easy as it seems, but armed with a list such as this one, the dilettante will have a sharp edge indeed!

Things That A Writer Must Avoid

- Psychological curiosities and paradoxes: murderers through kindness, suicides for happiness' sake.
- Surprising interpretations of literary works and characters: Don Juan's loathing of women, etc.
- Couples of evidently dissimilar characters: Sherlock Holmes and Watson, Don Quixote and Sancho Panza.
- Characters made different from one another through their little peculiarities (as in Dickens).
- Novelty and surprise; trick stories. The search for what has not yet been said seems an unworthy task for a poet in a cultured society. Civilised readers will not be pleased with the incivility of having a surprise sprung upon them.
- Pretentious distortions of space and time: Faulkner, Borges, Bioy Casares.
- The discovery that in a certain book the true hero is the jungle, the sea, the weather, the surplus-value theory. Writing books of which someone may say this.
- Poems, situations, characters with which the reader may identify himself.
- Phrases currently used or which may become catch-phrases or quotations (because they are inconsistent with a coherent text).
- Characters that may become myths.
- Characters, scenes, words typical of a certain place or of a certain historical moment. Local colour.
- Chaotic enumeration.
- Richness of vocabulary. Any word chosen as a synonym. Inversely, the mot juste. Any effort to be precise.
- Vivid descriptions. Physically rich worlds (as in Faulkner).
- Background, atmosphere, surroundings. Tropical heat, drunkenness, voices on the radio, words repeated as a refrain.
- Meteorological beginnings and endings. Meteorological and spiritual coincidences: Le vent se leve . . . Il faut tenter de vivre. ('The wind is rising . . . We must try and live.')
- Metaphors in general. In particular visual metaphors, and especially agricultural, naval, banking metaphors. (See Proust.)
- Any anthropomorphism.
- Novels in which the plot runs parallel with that of another book. (James Joyce's Ulysses.)
- Books that pretend to be menus, albums, itineraries, concerts.
- Anything that may suggest illustrations; anything that may inspire a film.
- Disapproval or praise in critical writings. Nothing is more naive than these 'dealers in the obvious' who proclaim the ineptitude of Homer, Cervantes, Milton, Moliere.
- In critical writings, all historical or biographical references. The author's personality. Psychoanalysis.
- Family scenes or erotic scenes in detective novels. Dramatic scenes in philosophical dialogues.
- Satisfying the reader's expectations: sob-stories and eroticism in romantic novels; puzzles and death in detective stories; ghosts in fantastic stories.
- Vanity, modesty, homosexuality, lack of homosexuality, suicide.

Underwear Collector

UTSUNOMIYA — A 43-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of theft on Wednesday, accused of stealing four pairs of women’s underwear from an apartment veranda in Utsunomiya City on Feb 1. Police arrested Takao Sudo, a 43-year-old man who lives with his parents in Utsunomiya City, and who ran a website titled “Underwear Collector.”

When police searched his home, they found approximately 1,600 items of underwear in his room, stashed in bags and a suitcase. Sudo told police that he felt relaxed when he surrounded himself with the underwear, and that he had stolen them on about 300 occasions over the past eight years.

[source - Japan Today]

Awake by Textures (and Millstone!)

Gee, I haven't posted here for a while have I.
What do I have for you? Well, here is a videoclip of one of my favourite metal bands, Textures (from Netherlands!), and this is a very fine song from their 2008 album 'Silhouettes'. The video is pretty cool too. (Nice doggy!) You will like it, unless your music taste is at a low level.

Awake

And while we're here, another really great song and video from this excellent young band. The song is called Millstone, from their 2006 album 'Drawing Circles'. The video is so freaking awesome, you had better be sitting down.

Millstone