Saturday, October 06, 2007

Patel Fizzed

Some readers may recall the time I mentioned reading Stephen Donaldson's 'Thomas Covenant' books, and how he loved to write stuff like:

"Don't touch me!" he ejaculated.

"Leave me alone!" he ejaculated.

"Get your hands off of me!" he ejaculated.

Well, right now I am reading an excellent and very funny book called Slow Death by Stewart Home. What I like about it is the way Home does sort of the same thing, only completely different:

'What?' Patel fizzed.

'Nonsense!' Campbell yodelled.

'Hi,' Don squeaked.

'We can't possibly do that!' Rolf popped.

'Sure thing boss,' Hodges yapped before hanging up.

'I suppose things just got out of hand,' Career orated.

'Before you go,' Brewster stage-whispered...

"Forget it,' Career rejoined congenially as she sat down.

'Nah,' Martin caterwauled.

'The easiest way to make money from art,' Eliot honked, 'is to work on the administrative side...'

'Are you telling me I can't make a fortune as an artist?' the skinhead clacked.

'Let's just fuck,' Rebel determined.

'Just do it,' Maria gabbled.

'I want him!' Good undulated, pointing at Donald.

'Anyway,' Karen oscillated...

'Thank you officer,' Ross smarmed.

'Nevertheless,' McDonald mooed...

'Oh, that's easy,' Peter frothed.

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