I got out of bed at 10:00 (which is pretty early for me when I don't have to get up at 7:30 to go to work) and went up to Kinko's to get those comics pages scanned. I found out it's not called Kinko's any more, it's called Fed-Ex Kinko's. Thanks a lot Fed-Ex, you fucked up a perfectly good copy shop name. Oh well, people will probably still call it Kinko's. Who the hell is gonna say, 'Hey! I gotta go to Fed-Ex Kinko's and make some more copies of my awesome zine or comic book!'? Nobody, that's who.
Anyway, when I walked in there and explained that I wanted some pages scanned, the guy went over to a machine and fiddled with it but came back a minute later and said he had to wait for his supervisor to get back from somewhere because something was wrong with the machine. I went and sat down at a table and pretended to get things out of my bag to look at, or sort through, or do something important with. But there was nothing else in my bag since I handed the pages over, so I pulled out of my pocket the folded up piece of paper that I use to make notes, but on this one there were only dumb shopping lists. Happily, the supervisor arrived on the scene at that moment and she got the scanning business underway. Then I had to go and sit down at the table again. I had nothing to read, and it was pretty boring in Kinko's, there were no women reading books, so I looked out the window. Across the road was a cafe. In the window I saw a girl sitting up on a stool at a table. She must have been talking to someone because she was waving her arms about, gesturing fervently with her hands, and moving her head up and down and from side to side. I quickly became entranced by these movements. She was very expressive! What in the world was she talking about that could animate her so? It was mesmerising. Then I noticed her face and hair. She looked just like Nadia. Not how Nadia would look today, because I don't know what she looks like today, but how she looked when we were together. How she looked ten years ago. And this observation had the effect of amplifying my already fascinated gaze by magnitudes. God, how much it looked like her! Then again, so what? A girl in a cafe who looks like Nadia did ten years ago. Big deal! Yet didn't it take years to get over her? It seemed to take years. I looked at the girl in the cafe again... But did I really get over her?
'There is no end to it,' I said to myself, as if spellbound, as if doomed.
I was snapped out of this strange grim reverie by the Kinko's supervisor calling me over to collect my comics pages and computer disc. I took them back to the table and checked the pages to make sure they were all there. The first page was missing. I went back to the counter and said, 'Hey, I think there's still a page stuck in your machine.' The supervisor looked in my direction but seemed to look through me. Was I really still there? Maybe that really was Nadia and it really was still ten years ago, and I wasn't in Kinko's after all, because Kinko's wasn't even there ten years ago...
But then the first guy I spoke to came over. I asked him to check the machine for my missing page. He went over and came back with the page and handed it to me. I walked outside.
I looked across the road at the cafe. The girl wasn't there anymore.
[Postscript: The Kinko's robots scanned the comics pages in some retarded format which I couldn't even use so I took photos of them. Which I should have done in the first place. Why didn't I do that? Why did I not think to do that? Am I an idiot? Yes, that could be it, for sure.]