Sunday, November 06, 2005

Dialogue Wizard

Goddam it. Don't know what to write. Wait! Nope. Really got nothing. Hey! How about some stupid dialogue? Big drumroll.

'You are an idiot.'
'You sir, are the idiot. I am a genius.'
'Prove it.'
'OK. Behold! Here is a bunny rabbit I just pulled out of my bum hole, as you can plainly see.'
'That is amazing and disgusting, in equal parts.'
'Yes it is. Now you see I am not an idiot.'
'No I do not see. That what I just witnessed failed to prove you are not an idiot. If you ask me, only an idiot would keep a bunny rabbit up his bum hole.'
'Sir, you have me there.'

Was that stupid enough for you? I hope so. OK, let's see what else my idiot brain can produce. Another dialogue? Why not.

'Look! I bought new shoes!'
'They sure look new alright.'
'I just told you they are new, but what do you think of them? Aren't they fabulous?'
'They look pretty stupid to me.'
'How dare you say such a thing! Are you trying to hurt my feelings?'
'No. Do you have a problem with criticism?'
'I do when you call my new shoes stupid.'
'Well, that's not my problem.'
'You are horrible and mean!'
'Oh well.'
'You don't even care!'
'You are right about that.'
'You're a MONSTER!'
'Now who's trying to hurt whose feelings?'

Ugh. Have you had enough? Is anybody even still reading this stuff? If you are, I salute you. Your threshold for tolerating this idiot dialogue is admirable. And if indeed you are still reading, you no doubt have the constitution to read one more.

'Fiddle faddle foddle, the world fits in a bottle.'
'What the devil are you on about?'
'I am writing a poem.'
'Is that what you call a poem?'
'It's the best I can do. Please don't say anything mean that will hurt my feelings.'
'I wouldn't dare. What do I know anyway? It might be a great poem that will cause a sensation.'
'Now I am sure you are making fun of me.'
'Not a bit of it. Let's hear some more.'
'Well. OK. Blitto blotto blatto, the moon is like a tomato.'
'That was rather fine.'
'You really think so?'
'It moved me. I felt something.'
'You really did?'
'You have made me so happy!'
'Think nothing of it. Now let's take ourselves off at once to celebrate your poetic triumph with a drink.'

UGH. I will subject you to no more. If you are still reading, God bless you! *BLUB!*

1 comment:

BixBloc said...

...I think you had quite a few before you started writing this post...