Thursday, January 05, 2006

Man Berates Mailbox

What is this blank page doing here in front of me? Why does it stay blank like that? What's happening here, eh? Is it really so hard to get an idea and start writing about it? Yep, sometimes it is, like now for instance. Hard to believe, isn't it? It's hard to believe because things are happening all the time. Walk into the street and something will be happening, there might even be somebody to write about. Example: You might be walking down the street and see a man talking to a mailbox, or a little further on you might see a woman reading a book, and not only reading a book, but walking along at the same time! ... Sadly, I saw neither of those things today, so I can't write about them. ... But who says I can't write about them, anyway? Who says, eh? I can write about them if I want! ... Oh yeah? ... Right! ... Hem! Hem!... Observe!...

What do you know, but this morning I was walking in the street, on my way to work was I, and would you believe it? I happened upon a man talking to a mailbox! Yes, he was doing that, talking to a red mailbox. Wearing a big bowtie and a funny hat, he was definitely and animatedly talking to that mailbox. What was he saying? I had to find out! You see, I am curious by nature. I moved closer, making as little noise as I could, on tippy-toe, my eyes popping out from the strain of behaving in such a non-twitchy, covert manner; I was never in the Navy Seals so it wasn't easy, plus I am naturally fidgety and anxious and twitchy, but somehow it worked and I got close enough to hear what that man was saying...

"...have to keep telling you not to stand around in the street at all hours? And why do you always come back to this exact spot? What could there be, in this exact spot, that is so compelling and interesting, eh? Look at me when I'm talking to you! Don't you use those fruity words with me, young man! Ooh! Now I've really heard it all! What! Ooh! I say, that's the limit! The limit, I say! This younger generation! Well, you just stay there and have a good hard think about your behaviour! It's a disgrace, you know! Don't you know it? Shameless, you are! Positively shameless, you devil! What! What! Wash your mouth out!..."

He wasn't about to quit, and I had to get going to work, so I zoomed away, amazed at this man berating that mailbox in such a vehement fashion.
There you are. A man berating a defenceless mailbox. Maybe it did really happen, and I saw it. Yes, now that you mention it, I think I did see that this morning, that man, loudly and indignantly lecturing that mailbox!
What wonders will tomorrow hold?
*kicks back from machine, starts spinning in chair, gazes up at ceiling with far away look in eyes*

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