A Survey of Some Recent Blogs III

1. Here's a category new to me - a missing person blog. Bring Michaella Home. "Michaella is a talented, exuberant 14-year-old..." Says you. "She's also missing." No, she's not. "UPDATE: It has been reported that Michaella is now safely home! Breathe deeply, everyone...and hug your kids." Feel the love, then puke your damn guts out. I feel better. Do you?
2. A life insurance ad blog. Life insurance in 10 minutes or less. I'll bet I can decapitate the perpetrator of this blog in 3 seconds or less.
3. daveniceguyblog. Dave just had a baby. That's nice. Dave went to his mum and dad's birthday party. That's nice. Dave didn't like Michael Moore, but now he does. That's nice. Dave's grandmother had a birthday party. That's nice. Dave feels bad because he wanted to change the world while he was at uni, but now he has a regular job and likes the money and fuck it, somebody else can change the damn world. Dave, you are changing the world with your blog. You are changing it very slightly, so very subtly and slightly into a slightly more boring world. Next!
4. A goddam piece of shit fucking ass discount perfume ad blog. I will kill you a million times a million ways all horrible and video it and make a blog to display it until the end of time. I will receive a Nobel prize for doing that.
5. Yet another boring schoolkid's blog with tiny little writing in small boxes and little things that move around the screen. It's so clever! I wonder how they did that. Then I see a line like this, Science period was totally sucks. You know what? Your blog was totally sucks, and I don't care how you did that. You know what else? It's depressing how many of these blogs that was totally sucks.
6. A blog called One Grain of Sand. One post. Finally, have decided to look for a new job and share the woes and obstacles that will be encountered during this process. That is so interesting. *ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ*
7. A blog with only photographs, there's only endless photographs of two idiots standing next to different things, and in different places, with idiotic grins on their faces. Who are they? Do I care who are they? No for sure I do not care who are they. Technology is not good because too many people have access to it and can make dumb blogs like this one taking photos of themselves next to different dumb things in boring scenes that bore me and bore you. Please make interesting blog. Stop taking photos of yourselves next to dumb boring things.
8. hello here's the Sizepro Penis Enlargement ad blog. Whoever posted this blog must be strapped down with big rusty chains, frightening mechanical studded dildo machine rolled up and jammed into that person's asshole with no lubricant, forced in, pushed hard in, foot-long leather mechanical dildo wrapped sadistically in barbed wire ready to go, machine turned on and turned up to full power. does this sound sadistic and cruel? only let me indulge my insane fantasy, it is only fantasy, maybe sick but not real, not real like these Sizepro Penis Enlargement ad blogs. Please step up to the machine, sir, or madam.
9. Well look here. A baby blog that doesn't suck (although the baby does) About Mano
10. Christ on a bun here's another idiot who describes their life as "CRAZY". Listen here, you and about a hundred million other blog robots describe their life as CRAZY. Your life isn't really CRAZY, you know. Your so-called CRAZY life is nothing more than a bunch of things that happen to a billion other people. Simple, everyday things can be interesting, but when you describe them as CRAZY, somehow everything you write is magically transformed into something MONUMENTALLY BORING AND NOT CRAZY AT ALL. You will see, I am not just being mean.

Friends, I can't go on. I'm too depressed. This quest is too damn depressing. There's nothing out there. Planet Blog is barren and deadly boring tonight.
Blog Scout Leader over and out.