This morning I woke up. Then I tried to figure out where the sound was coming from. There was a sound in my ears and I figured it must be coming from somewhere nearby. Yes by gum I was on the right track - it seemed to be coming from the clock radio. Looking over in that direction all I could see was some green blurry lines. That was the clock. The green lines were the time but they were blurry. A man was talking. Yes I could hear a man saying things, and he was in the radio. The clock radio with the green blurry lines. There had to be some way to silence the talking man, and at the back of my mind the idea came to me that I had done it before, successfully. It was confusing though. Really. There were buttons, I knew that. And there was some kind of sliding button that made things tricky. In my groggy state, my brain was struggling to make sense of the situation. It was a puzzle alright. Goddam. A real tricky one. The man was still talking. How could I go back to sleep with the man talking loud in my earholes like that? Well, I couldn't, no sir. There had to be some way to manipulate the buttons to make him stop. Phew! Did this happen every morning? I couldn't remember. Everything was a big blur. I blinked my eyes and rolled over. The green blur came closer and the man got louder. Ah! That seemed to trigger some spark of comprehension. Yes! There was a long button at the front of the infernal machine. If you managed to hit that button, the man stopped talking. In slow motion, like a big turtle, I reached over and aimed my hand at the button. The man stopped talking. Thank God Almighty! There was perfect silence. I went back to sleep.
I went back to sleep for nine minutes before the man started talking loudly again. My stupid dumb idiotic clock radio has a snooze function that lasts nine minutes. Why nine minutes and not ten? Why? Why is that? Why the heckity-heck?