Cinema of Flying Daggers, Thrown By Me

After work today I went to see House of Flying Daggers. The movie was pretty good, I guess. Pretty good? I guess? OK, the movie was spectacular, it was eye candy. And those big battle ballet scenes? My eyeballs popped out a few times, and they really flew a long way during the bamboo forest battle. But some other shit happened that interfered with my enjoyment of the movie. You wanna hear about it? Yes, you do, so I will tell you.

The seats at this theatre are goddam uncomfortable and I couldn't find a good position to last any more than maybe ten minutes, then I'd have to jerk around again, put my legs up, legs down, arms sideways, or bent a little... and my shoulders hurt. And my ass hurt, those damn seats. ("My ass has really taken a pounding over the years!" Who said this and in what movie?) Maybe because of this, the movie felt like it went on forever. I just checked the running time and it says 1 hour, 59 minutes. It felt like two and a half hours, at least.

But that's not all. Those two whispering, commentating bitches were back. You remember? I wrote about them recently (Jan 31 - Sideways.) They weren't right behind me this time, they were over to the side and behind a little, but I could still hear 'em, loud and clear. What the fuck is it with them? I'll bet they talk in their sleep too, all night long. All day and all night, talking, and whispering, and commentating on every damn thing imaginable, without pause, superhuman and tireless. Born to annoy the fuck out of people like me, and you. Yes, you. You won't escape! You think you will? They will come to YOUR cinema, if you like watching movies, that is. If you like watching them without non-stop whispering commentary going on in your fucking ear.

They will come, don't worry.