Tuesday, February 08, 2005


It's 10:00pm and still 29 degrees (84 degrees Fahrenheit.) That's funny! I'm sitting here, sweating like crazy in my boxer shorts and I can see how funny it is, that it is still so damned hot, at this late hour.

Today I saw another movie after work. I finally saw a dud. Yessir, I finally saw me a dud, Dudley. It was Elektra. Got Daredevil out a few days ago, and thought it was gonna suck, but I was surprised, it was actually pretty good, and Ben Affleck did a good job. The only way I can see somebody not liking Daredevil would be if they were a fan of the comics, so were precious about it, which I'm not, so I ain't. I wouldn't know if they were faithful to the comics, and don't much care, either.

Anyway, since Elektra is at the cinemas now, and sort of follows on from Daredevil, I thought I'd check it out. (The alternative was Alexander, which I want to see, but at three hours, after a long day stuffing mailbags and flipping files, that running time was too intimidating.)

Fifteen minutes into the movie I was jerking around in my seat figuring an exit strategy. Maybe I could go next door. Maybe Alexander is playing in there. No, I paid to see the damn thing and by God I'll sit here and watch it, no matter how terrible it is. But it started off boring as hell. This is a superhero movie, superhero movies aren't supposed to be this boring. Then something happened. Elektra fought some bad guys. She whacked one of 'em with her knives, and he fell against a wall, then he exploded and disappeared in a green cloud. What the fuck? Yep, that's exactly what happened. It felt like watching some lame soap opera, with two warring, rich as fuck families, and all of a sudden Ridge (or Blaine, or some character with a ridiculous name like that) blasts a hole in a wall using some kind of heat vision.

There was a group of supervillains, one could move around real fast, he was pretty boring, another had animal tattoos and they came to life, that was lame. The only one I liked was the woman who poisoned everything. She walked through a forest with her hands stetched out, in slow motion, and around her leaves and branches withered and turned black. That scene was pretty good, along with the one where she gives Elektra a long deathkiss, and black leaves are falling in slowmo around them. But a few kind of cool scenes can not save a movie, they never could and they never will.

Oh yeah, and about halfway through the movie, a guy in front of me and to the right got up and walked out, and he didn't come back. There were only maybe a dozen people in the audience, and that guy was the only one in front of me, so I wouldn't be surprised if others walked out, too. And I wouldn't blame them, really, but the way I see it, you pay for a ticket and you stay there, right through until the end, for better or worse. You made your choice and you oughtta live with it. Don't pike out, like a goddamn wuss. What? Can't you handle responsibility for your actions? Do some research then, next time, before you buy a fuckin movie ticket. You know what? You make me sick.

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