I pulled a fast one at work, it was pretty funny. I say to the boss, 'Look here boss, I gotta leave at 3:30 today, OK?' She says 'Oh you got an appointment?' What the fuck business is it of hers anyway? Some nerve, bitch. 'Yeah, I got an appointment.' Later, boss walked out of the office and my COLLEAGUE she laugh and say, "You don't have an appointment really, do you?' I laugh and say, "Sure man, I got an appointment to see me a movie! Can't see that four o'clock movie if I don't get outta here at 3:30, can I?" We both roll on the damn floor laughing our asses off.
I get to the movie, walk a mile since they knocked down walls and joined three cinemas together, finally get to the cinema and the screen is the size of my TV at home. What the fuck? I get mad, I'm gonna do something about it, somebody gotta pay. I fantasise about doing different things, but really at the end of my insane fantasy I don't do anything, can't do anything but sit there, boiling at that little screen. My eyes roll around in their sockets and I twitch and jerk around in my seat, sweating. Phew! 'TURN ON THE FUCKIN' MOVIE ALREADY! I'M WAITING! SKIP THE ADS PLEASE!'
Finally the movie starts, they didn't skip the ads for me like I asked, those bastards. There's hardly anybody in the theatre, but two idiots sit right in front of me, some idiot guy and his dumb girlfriend. I pull a hair out of his head and he jumps like he been stung in the ass by an ant. His head spins around like Linda Blair. I didn't do it, why you lookin' at me? He scratches his head and looks back at that tiny screen. I pull a hair out of his girlfriend's head and she goes a bit wacky, her head starts spinning and she hops up and down in her seat. I change seats, loudly complaining that somebody is pulling hairs around here.
The movie - Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow - was pretty good, it looked great, retro-futuristic style, and there were giant robots. I sat right up the front to make the screen seem bigger, it worked, it seemed a lot bigger.
The movie ended and I walked home.